


Reasons Hotch Might Screech or Reid Might Channel Veronica Cartwright

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 17:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2436962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“To this day I've never seen a bigger can of Crisco.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reasons Hotch Might Screech or Reid Might Channel Veronica Cartwright

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes in fics I use one liners to allude to crazy but funny happenings with the BAU in cities all over the country. Sometimes readers ask me to write the story, and sometimes I manage to do that.

“Did I ever tell you guys about the time Hotch got stuck?” Rossi asked.

“No!” Derek and JJ exclaimed in unison. They were already laughing.

“Dave, do not tell that story.” Hotch said.

“Oh c'mon, it’s a good story.”

“I don’t recall it being that good. With you retelling it who knows how it’ll end up.”

“I want to hear it.”

They all turned toward the open laptop beside Reid. Rossi grinned.

“Hello, Penelope.”

“Hi, Agent Rossi. Please don’t let my arrival interrupt the telling of a good Hotch story. Kevin’s here too.”

“Hi,” Kevin poked his head in beside Garcia’s.

“Kevin cannot hear this story.” Hotch tried to put on his best stern tone but it didn’t come out as he hoped. He went for giving Rossi the stern glance instead. “Dave…”

“What did I miss?” Prentiss asked, coming out of the bathroom.

Hotch stood as she walked back into the cabin area. He took gentle hold of her arm, helping her back into the seat beside him. Emily grimaced and shifted the weight of her six-month pregnant belly. She would at least pretend to be comfortable…it was a long flight from Billings, Montana to Quantico. They took off from the airstrip 45 minutes ago.

“It’s BAU story time,” Morgan replied. “Go on Rossi.”

“I was just getting ready to tell the story of Hotch getting stuck.”

“Well, I'm all ears.” Emily replied smiling. She caressed her belly and sipped the iced tea in front of her.

“As you guys know,” Rossi said. “Back in the day we used to go out on the road alone. Well this must have been “bring a rookie to work day” cuz…”

“I was not a rookie,” Hotch clarified. “I had been in the BAU for 14 months.”

“Yeah, like I said, a rookie. So we’re in St. Louis on a sex strangler case. All five victims lived in a seven block radius and had one floor houses with basements. We had no fingerprints, DNA, fibers, or anything. Then Petrovsky…”

“Lew Petrovsky?” Emily asked. “From the St. Louis field office?”

“You know Lew?” Dave asked.

“We worked together for two and a half years.”

“He’s a good guy.” Hotch replied.

Emily nodded, telling Rossi to go on.

“Well, Petrovsky grew up in St. Louis so he told us that as kids and teens they used to always use the basement windows to sneak into and out of the house in the middle of the night. The three of us are standing outside of the last victim’s window just looking at it. Petrovsky crouches down and gets in the window in about 3 minutes. I was truly impressed by his agility. Young Hotchner just crossed his arms, you know how he does it, and says ‘ _No offense, Agent Petrovsky, but the Unsub may have been taller and more muscular than you are_ ’. Petrovsky was what, Em?”

“About 5’6”, 120 soaking wet.” Emily said.

“I didn’t use that tone.” Hotch said, shaking his head. “It wasn’t that high-pitched.”

“Actually, it was.” Rossi replied.

“It was not.”

“Anyway, so Hotch crouches down by the window and takes a look inside. He decides to climb in the same way Petrovsky did, and gets about to his torso when…nothing happens.”

“What do you mean nothing happened?” JJ asked.

“I mean what I said; he was stuck. He started kicking his legs, attempting to wriggle loose. He reaches up for me, screeching that he’s stuck.”

“I did not screech.” Hotch replied as the whole team laughed. “When have I ever been known to screech?”

“Oh you were definitely screeching. At this point, he’s flailing like a fish out of water. I grab his arm and started yanking but he’s whining ‘ _You’re going to pull my arm out of the socket! Stop pulling so hard!_ ’”

“This is a total recreation of an event that actually took place.” Hotch said, which just made the team laugh more. “I got stuck in that window, yes, but I did not screech, flail, or whine.”

“Shall I call Petrovsky?” Rossi asked. “He probably has excellent recall.”

“Doubtful.” Hotch mumbled.

“Tell us the rest, Rossi.” Morgan said.

“So Hotch is kicking his legs. He’s begging Petrovsky to pull him in and he tries but its no use. He was truly stuck. Lew had to call in reinforcements.”

“What kind of reinforcements?” Emily asked.

“Tell ‘em, Hotch.”

“You may as well finish; you tell it so well.”

“To this day I've never seen a bigger can of Crisco.” Rossi said.

The team fell into laughter. Hotch was sure he heard Reid snort. The Unit Chief just crossed his arms and let the laughter crescendo, fade, and start up again. Then Emily gasped. That got Hotch’s full attention.

“Prentiss, are you alright?” He asked. They were still in the field and professionalism had to be maintained. It had to be maintained even if his heart suddenly beat much too fast.

“The baby just kicked.” She said.

“Really? Is this the first time?” JJ asked.

“Yeah,” Emily nodded. “I mean I've been feeling butterflies for weeks but nothing definitive. That was pretty definitive.”

“May I?” Hotch asked.

“Of course; c'mere,”

Hotch put his hand over her belly and Emily covered it with her own.

“The first time Henry kicked it didn’t happen again for two weeks. I almost thought I imagined the whole thing. Will definitely thought I imagined it.”

“Sometimes I stay up late at night just to…” Emily gasped and then laughed. “Oh my God, did you feel that?” She looked at Hotch. “Did you feel it, Aaron?”

“I did.” He grinned. For just a moment he pressed his forehead on hers and they were in their own little world. Derek brought Hotch back.

“Can I feel, Em?” He asked.

“Of course,”

Everyone wanted their chance to touch was Emily’s belly. There was more awe and laughter. JJ’s hand lingered as the baby had fun moving around. Emily found she couldn’t stop laughing...it felt amazing. She knew there was a life inside of her, that was heady enough, but to feel it move around was like a dream.

“It’s not fair, Peaches,” Garcia said. “I wanna feel little Emily kick.”

“You'll be my first stop in the morning, Garcia, I promise.”

“Great,” The tech analyst grinned. “I am so excited. Agent Rossi, we sincerely thank you for the fantastic story. It should help Kevin and I get through all of this paperwork.”

“Yes sir, thank you.” Kevin added, still giggling.

“Anytime, kids.”

“Garcia out.”

“Reid,” Emily asked. “Do you want to feel the baby?”

“Um…” The young genius stuck his hands in his pockets. “Not particularly.”

“It was interesting, Reid.” Rossi said. “Give it a try.”

“It freaks me out, OK.” Reid admitted. “No matter what else I try to think about I just keep seeing that scene in _Alien_. You know the one, where everything is calm and the whole team is laughing when suddenly…”

“John Hurt starts to cough.” Morgan finished.

“Exactly. He just starts coughing and that awful thing bursts out of his stomach. I want to scream like Veronica Cartwright.”

“You did,” JJ replied. “If memory serves,”

“That movie scared me witless and it’s really the fault of all of you guys. So, no Emily, no thanks, I don’t want to touch your belly. I'm sure it’s a great experience but…”

“It’s alright, Spencer.” Emily nodded with a smile. “I understand your apprehension. I sat near the exit in movie theatres all through my teens after seeing _The Blob_.”

“I hate the beach because of _Jaws_.” Hotch said.

“I never cut off Mack trucks after I saw _Duel_.” Derek said.

“I don’t look in the mirror in a dark room.” JJ said.

“Why not?” Reid asked.

“Cuz it freaks me out; _Candyman_ remember?”

“I've never seen that movie.” Reid replied. “I don’t even like horror movies.”

“What about you, Rossi?” Emily asked. “What don’t you do because of horror movies?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh c'mon, we all have a fear.” JJ said. “Just tell us.”

“I think you owe us that much after that total embellished story at my expense.” Hotch said.

“Its dark back roads.” Rossi replied, smirking. “I always imagine my car is going to break down, I will have no cell phone service, and some guy with a chainsaw or a pickax is going to come out of the woods and chop me into little pieces. It’s completely irrational and only lasts for a split second, but I always think about it.”

“That makes me feel a bit better.” Reid said, nodding.

“Good, kid.” Derek patted his shoulder.

“I think I'm going to call home.” JJ said, excusing herself for a little while.

“You wanna play cards, Reid?” Derek asked.

“Um…”

“I’ll play cards.” Rossi said.

“You're playing too, Reid.” Derek helped him up and they went to other side of the cabin.

“That was subtle.” Hotch said, rolling his eyes.

“It was nice.” Emily replied. “I'm actually happy everyone was around for this moment. I remember how exciting it was for every little milestone while JJ was pregnant.”

“Now you get your turn.”

“It’s more than that.”

“I know,” Hotch took her hand. “It was amazing to feel my child, our child, move for the first time.”

“Yeah,” Emily smiled. She pushed the armrest up and leaned against him. “I don’t care about the rules tonight, Hotch; I'm holding your hand all the way home.”

“I'm holding on too.” He whispered, kissing her temple and relaxing. Sometimes, just sometimes, rules were made to be broken.

***


End file.
